Dreamer. Chasing Dreams.

R.S.V.P. Four letters, but they mean so much. An abbreviation for the french term, “Respondez s’il vous plait,” these four letters have been around for decades- prompting party goers to politely let the host know if you will be in attendance. Weddings. Anniversaries. Fundraisers. Birthdays. Dinner Parties. Whatever the occasion, it’s clear that these letters not only signify proper etiquette, but are also a tremendous help to the planner.

However, in recent years with the ease of the Internet, whether it’s an E-vite or a Facebook invite, users have lost that urgency to make a decision. How? With the maybe. I ask, have you ever seen a maybe on a wedding invitation? If so, please be sure to send me a copy. The only reason I see to having a maybe response is:

- You might have something better come up.

- You might be late.

- Or, you really just want to keep your options open.

But, I point out— RSVP is etiquette, and etiquette usually says a phone call is a better way to tell those who have taken the time to invite you that you might have a conflict or you might be late. But, then I ask— would you ever show up late to a wedding? No. Just respond “Decline with Regret.” Forget that there’s a maybe option.

This has been your helpful Monday morning rant :).

**Update: Thanks to Taylor Barr, Meetup.com recently did a post about removing their maybe option. Glad to know there is some sanity out there :)

A lot of sites offer ways to cut wedding costs. But not many of them combine their tips with simple etiquette. After attending several weddings over the past few years, here are a few of my favorite Faux Pas of wedding planning, and how to avoid them.

1. Invitations. Invitations can be time consuming, expensive and confusing.

• Don’t put “and guest” on invitations. If you are inviting a single person who is dating someone, politely call them and ask them the name of that person. It’s polite.
• To minimize the guest list, refrain from inviting children and coworkers. Include your friends’ significant others, but not casual dates. You want to avoid making your guests feel uncomfortable and unwelcome— so be sure to find out if they are dating someone!

2. Flowers. As one of the most expensive aspects to a wedding, keep these in mind.

• Try ordering your bouquets through a local farmers market, and wrapping them yourself. It’s easy to do and ensures that your flowers are in season— which is always cheaper.
• Repurpose bouquets from the ceremony in the reception area.

3. Venue.

• Choose a place that can accommodate both the reception and the wedding. You will save on the rental expenses.
• Don’t be afraid of “all-inclusive.” These places tend to have their acts together— and you don’t have to deal with caterers galore.
• Never count on guests to RSVP “No” when deciding on a venue. You should always get a venue that can accommodate everyone.

4. Food and Beverage. This is often the most expensive, and FUN part of the wedding. Here are a few ways to make sure it doesn’t break the bank!

• If you’re concerned about how much the bar is going to cost you, consider only offering wine and beer. You can even buy those wholesale beforehand (there will still be an uncorking fee, but you will save $$).
• DO NOT have a cash bar. You wouldn’t make your guests pay for their drinks at your house, so don’t do it here.
• Consider closing the open bar during the dinner hour. Guests will likely have a glass in hand when they sit down, and most often will have a champagne toast. Closing the bar for an hour will likely go unnoticed by your guests, and will save you an hour of the open bar fee per person.
• In some rare instances, you can ask the venue to base the bar on consumption- which may also be cheaper.

5. Keepsakes. Sending your guests away with a cute bookmark, ornament or gift? Consider repurposing those gifts by hanging them on decorative trees at the table for your centerpieces.

**Considerations**

This is more of a “keep in mind” while you budget. Not only will you feel more confident with your decisions, but others around you will appreciate these as well.

• NEVER ask your bridal party to chip in for costs- no matter how small. They have their own expenses, in addition to being in your wedding (dresses, shoes, travel), the reception is all YOU.
• If you are strapped for cash and are looking for ways to budget, don’t expect your bridal party to be able to afford that destination Bachelorette or Bachelor weekend.
• ALWAYS send a thank you note. Even if you end up having more than one shower in addition to the wedding, guests deserve a timely card for each event and each gift.
• If you plan to only serve heavy hors d’ouvres, don’t plan your reception during main dining hours. Your guests will expect a substantial meal and will be hungry if they don’t know otherwise.
• Bridal party members should ALWAYS be allowed to bring a date. No questions asked.
• Be sure to try and stop by each table to thank your guests for coming to share in your special day. A smile and an in-person “thank you” from the bride and groom go a long way.